Team Antics
by Abooklovers-heaven
Summary: This is mainly going to be about the team. There will be a few cases here and there, but otherwise team banter. I will try and keep it as funny as possible. I suck at summaries, sorry.
1. Chapter 1

**I thought I would try a full team fanfic but if you don't like it I won't continue. It won't be updated as regularly as my others ones but I will try. Sooooo… without further ado**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own**

"Annnnd where exactly do you think you are going" Callen accused Sam as he attempted to sneak out of doing his paperwork after closing a case that day.

"Ummmm…home to my wife and daughter" He replied guiltily

"Oh no you don't big guy, sit you're ass down and do your paperwork."

"But I-"

"Alright if you insist but just remember, I'm not covering for you this time. You can handle Hetty all on your lonesome." Callen said enjoying this conversation too much.

"O-oh did I just hear Callen say he was going to let Sam be a big boy and handle Hetty by himself?" Deeks asked as he entered the bullpen bringing coffee for all.

"Yes, you did, I think he's old enough now for me to stop holding his hand. He needs to learn to walk on his own."

"Very funny, keep it up, I dare you" Sam threatened as Callen and Deeks continued laughing at him. "So Deeks, where is Kensi?"

"I don't know, do I look like her keeper?" Deeks replied going along with Sam's change of subject.

"Yes!" Callen and Sam said together as Deeks bowed his head, trying to keep the guys from seeing the blush spreading across his face.

"Never fear guys, I am here and I come bearing gifts for all!" Kensi announced saving her partner from any further embarrassment. "Food for the guys and sweets for me"

"Fern, that's not a proper dinner, if you keep on eating like that-"Deeks started but stopped when he saw Sam mouth at Callen 'More like her mother' over his head. "And I resent that" He said directing his comment at Sam.

"I don't know what you're talking about, G have any idea what Shaggy's on about?"

"None at all, all I heard was Deeks telling Kensi not to eat sweet food, just sounds like he was digging himself a deep deep hole." Callen replied never lifting his eyes from his paperwork, causing Kensi to laugh, and spit sugar over her desk.

"And you even make a mess doing it" Deeks told her shaking his head in mock disapproval. He lifted his head as he saw her get out of her chair and make her way towards him. "What you doing princess?"

"Oh nothing." She replied nonchalantly coming to stand right beside him. As he looked up at her, she smiled then delivered him a sharp punch to the upper arm.

"Owwww, ok I deserved that- but WHAT WAS THAT ONE FOR!" Deeks practically yelled as she punched him again giving him a dead arm.

"You know what that was for, don't call me princess." She replied causing snickers to come from Sam and Callen, and two more to come from the top of the stairs where Eric and Nell were making their way down to them.

"You guys heading off?" Deeks asked them, glad to have the attention off himself.

"Yeah, we finished our paperwork, thought we would head off early." Nell replied still laughing at Deeks.

"Well, have fun there Velma." Deeks said paying them no more attention as he turned back to his paperwork.

"Alrighty, see you guys tomorrow." Nell told them as she and Eric made their way to their cars.

As soon as they were out of earshot the team resumed conversation. "They are so going out!" Kensi said excitedly as she saw them bump shoulders and laugh about something as they opened the mission doors.

Sam and Callen shared a knowing look as Deeks and Kensi continued to talk about them. "Yeah maybe you guys should go on a double date with them." Sam voiced barely containing his laughter at the shock on Kensi and Deeks' faces.

"I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about" Kensi a blush spreading across her cheeks. "I am a single free woman. Maybe it should be G and Joelle."

"Nah, see, Joelle and I go see Sam and Michelle, while you two team are meant to team up with the wonder twins." G stammered, embarrassed as always to be talking about his love life.

"I don't know G, maybe it's time for you guys to branch out a bit." Sam stated smirking at his mortified expression. "Mommy can't hold your hand forever."

"Better yet, why don't we all go out, Mr Hanna" Hetty interjected sneaking up behind Kensi causing her to spill her coffee all over herself. "I'm sorry dearie, I didn't mean to startle you so much."

"I swear Hetty, it's time we get you a bell to wear."

"Must we go through this every time Mr. Callen, many a people have tried, none of them successfully." Hetty replied laughing at her own joke. "Now, why don't we have a team bonding night? As long as there is no tequila and mechanical bull, we should be fine."

"I don't know Hetty, we just had a 'team bonding' night a couple of weeks ago." Sam said avoiding her eye as he says it.

"Well I think it's a good idea, you can never have too many bonding nights. What about you Mr. Deeks, what do you think?"

"Ummmm, yeah- I guess- could be good" He stammered out, scared of disagreeing with the little ninja woman, knowing she could probably kill him a hundred times from where she stood.

"Well then it's settled. We must do team bonding, all seven of us!" Hetty replied smiling at the team then retreating to her desk.

"I'm going to kill you Deeks, you don't agree to team bonding" Kensi threatened after Hetty had walked away.

"Well I'm so sorry, I was kind of put on the spot there and I didn't see any of you stepping up to the plate." He shot back sarcastically as he dodged a pen that Kensi had thrown across the room at him.

"Bravo Deeks, we all get to spend a night together…in a bar…with Hetty. They had better be stocked up on everything." Sam alleged standing up with all his gear. "And don't worry there G, I finished my work, I'm going home now."

"Wait up Sam, I'll walk with you." Kensi yelled as she ran after Sam. "Goodnight you guys"

"Night Kens, See you tomorrow" Deeks and Callen responded, calling it quits for the day as well.

 **Please review, because I'm not sure if I should continue, let me know.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything**

"Team bonding, this is ridiculous!" Sam scoffed to no one in particular as the four of them made their way into the bar a couple of nights later. "I am going to kill you for this Deeks!"

"Wha-" Deeks asked as he snapped back to the conversation taking place, he had been dreaming about Kensi, not that he would ever admit it to anyone.

"This" Sam replied gesturing around him, to the bar they had just entered. "I am going to kill you for this Deeks."

"Ah come on, couldn't you go a little easy on him, I really don't feel like finding a new partner right now" Kensi interjected somewhat protecting her partner from violence.

"Really, that's all you're concerned with right now? Finding a new partner." Deeks said offended by her statement. Kensi shot him an annoyed look as Sam took a seat in a booth they were able to find.

"This is gonna be a long night" Callen exclaimed as he took a seat beside his partner.

"Yeah, ya think, I had plans tonight" Nell complained as she and Eric came up behind them. "This is possibly the worst way to spend a Friday night."

"Geez, we love you to Velma." Deeks said as he moved over to allow room for the two of them.

"So…where's Hetty" Nell questioned taking the attention of her.

"I don't know, this was the little ninja's id-" Callen replied stopping when he felt her presence behind him. 'Damn' he thought, how does she always manage to do that?

"Never fear, I'm right here Ms. Jones" Hetty stated drawing the attention onto her. "I'm sorry I was late, but duty calls, anyway I'm here now. So Mr. Deeks, where's the tequila?"

"Hetty, I thought we agreed not tequila for you, you know that never ends well!" Callen inputted disapproving of her request.

"But where's the fun in the evening without tequila" Hetty replied with a child-like glee coming across her face.

"Hetty…"

"I'm still your boss Mr. Callen, I order you to get me tequila, and I believe the first round is now on you."

"Wha-"

"Go Mr. Callen." Hetty ordered holding back a smirk at his bewildered expression. Behind him as he got up to walk to the counter he could hear the snickers of the rest of his team. 'Man this was going to be a long night' he thought as he ordered drinks for the rest of the team.

* * *

"Kens drink up, its time to let go!" Deeks yelled as the night wore on, it had been a slow start to the night. Conversations were awkward and movements were half hearted so they all retreated into their drinks, ordering one after the rapidly bringing up their bill. However the downside of the excessive drinking instead of talking was the evening was beginning to get fuzzy.

Eric was the first to lose it, it was obvious he wasn't accustomed to drinking like the others, he had had only a couple of beers and he was starting to loosen up. He was laughing too loudly at every joke and his movements with Nell were somewhat bolder.

Sam wasn't too far behind, claiming that if he didn't stop now Michelle was going to kick him to the curb when he got home. "Urgh, come on Sam, don't bail on us now big dawg. In it for the long haul." Callen shouted at him, trying to rope him back to the table.

"You know how Michelle gets G, she have my ass on a platter quicker than you can say bullet hole?" Sam added humorously, a hint of the alcohol starting to poke through in his speech.

"Oh, no fair, but I know you are telling the truth" Callen smirked losing interest in the conversation as his fuzzy brain couldn't focus on anything for more than a few minutes.

"See you guys tomorrow, nice and hung over, I'm assuming, especially you two" Sam said pointing at Kensi and Deeks who were consuming drink after drink and showing no signs of slowing down anytime soon.

"Hahaha funny guy over there" Kensi said with a sour pouty face, but ceasing to care after a moment and turning back to her drink and Deeks.

Soon after Sam had left, Nell was the next to go. She claimed that she had something important to do tomorrow that she needed to be 'clear-headed' for. But it was clear that she had had enough and was craving a bubble bath and a warm comfy bed. "See-ya guys tomorrow" She said in departing, but halted when Eric called her.

"Are you leaving?" Clearly confused as to why she was going

"Yes Beale I'm leaving" She said with a look of annoyance.

"Ok, I'm coming with you" Eric said, relieved to be escaping from this hell that Hetty defined as 'team bonding'

"Oh, you chickening out there Beale?" Deeks asked with a wicked smile crossing his face.

"Uh, yeah I guess I am" He replied, too tired and too drunk to care what they said about him. "Night guys"

And with those final words, Nell and Eric were off, Leaving only Kensi and Deeks and Callen and Hetty. Four heavy drinkers, what could possibly go wrong with that combination?

* * *

"Mr Callen, where's my next shot?!" Deeks yelled in his best imitation of Hetty, completely oblivious to the fact that Hetty had stood up behind him on the chair, miming his action. Causing Callen and Kensi to laugh like mad men, but when Hetty did her best impression of Deeks, startling Deeks, they only laughed harder, leaving them gasping for air, and grasping for another drink.

"You got it perfect, Hetty, even down to the surfer drawl" Callen said, barely containing his laughter. It was nights like these where you find out who someone really was. Callen was a happy drunk. He laughed at everything and he was always ready with a joke. Secretly Deeks liked this side of him much more.

And Kensi, well she was sexy as always even drunk, although she was a lot freer now that they had consumed copious amounts of alcohol, there may have been the occasional hand slip from her here and there, but then again it could have just been his fuzzy brain playing tricks on him. Who knew?

Then there was Hetty, there are no words to explain drunk Hetty. She was almost like a child. Even though her self-proclaimed rule of no tequila had been broken she continued, rivalling the three of them shot for shot, it was astounding. But don't get him wrong, she was still deadly, she had already threatened him with her letter opener more than once. It is still frightening, even when she is saying it drunk. Not only had she drunk a little too much tequila though, she had found the mechanical bull, situated in the back corner of the bar. Oh-crap.

 **Alrighty, let me know what you guys think.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry it has been so long, I did you warn you, anywho enough chit chat. Enjoy**

"Why, on God's green earth are we being called in here at 7am on a Saturday morning?" Deeks moaned the morning after team night.

"You're not looking to good there Deeks" Sam commented eliciting a dirty look from Deeks. "Have a little too much fun last night?"

"Urgh I really hate you ALL" Kensi all but yelled as she sauntered in not long after Deeks. She was sporting a dishevelled appearance with sunglasses covering her eyes and her bag dragging on the ground behind her.

"What's up Ms Blye and Mr Deeks, you seem to be a little under the weather this morning." Hetty said subtly mocking them, as she entered the bullpen where her agents were talking.

"What the hell Hetty, how are you not like, passed out on the floor somewhere Hetty, we only left the bar like 4 hours ago." Deeks asked astounded that she was still her usual self. "You had like triple the amount we had…how?"

"I don't know what you're talking about" Hetty replied feigning ignorance to the question. "I drank quadruple the amount you two had!"

"Then how are you not like…I don't know…passed out somewhere" Kensi whined to Hetty not caring the tone she took with her boss

"Let's just call it experience, shall we?" Hetty responded in her usual calm manner, then turning to Sam and Callen who made themselves look busy at their desks. "Now as I remember, Mr Hanna over there, you chickened out on us last night quite early if I recall, and Mr Callen, you just gave up didn't you. How was it sleeping on the floor of your car last night?"

The team sat there, mouths opening and shutting, gobsmacked at their tiny boss. She was rarely that cheeky with her team, and when she was, it always shocked them, as she rarely let them behind her hard exterior.

"Now, I believe we were called here for a reason, so stop dragging your feet. Mr Beale?" Hetty continued on, not letting the stunned agents and detective comment.

* * *

The day had been long and hard on the entire team, it had been especially for Kensi and Deeks who had hardly got any sleep the night before and were working with a hangover.

"So… anyone in for drinks?" Deeks asked innocently as they sat at their respective desks packing up their equipment.

"you're dreamin'" came the immediate reply from Kensi

"Wha-"

"If you even think I am in for a repeat last night I think you have issues."

"Wha-"

"He's always had issues, we should have him committed, although I feel as though he would fit right in" Callen inputted interrupting the detective yet again.

"Oh yeah, go ahead, laugh at the new guy"

"Deeks," Kensi said as if speaking to a kid, "You're not the new guy anymore, and you've been working here for 4 years. That no longer classifies you as new. If anything, Nell is newer then you!"

"I resent that!"

"Deeks there is nothing to resent, I just stated the facts" Kens replied mockingly, picking up her bag and waiting for the rest of the team to finish.

"I think-"

"Oh oh, what have we told you about thinking Deeks… It's too dangerous for you. You could hurt someone in the process." Sam scoffed, interrupting Deeks this time.

Deeks looked to the ceiling as if seeking its help "God give me strength" he begged also standing up and walking to the exit of the bullpen.

Again jumping on the 'mock Deeks' bandwagon Kensi piped up. "I always thought that Deeks would get me killed in the field. It's a dangerous place out there with him!"

"Thanks partner" Deeks practically yelled back sarcastically, "I thought you were supposed to have my back."

"Oh no, after last night there is no way you are getting off that easily buddy." Kensi mocked grinning at the chuckles that were coming from Sam and Callen and the look of faux hurt of Deeks face.

"Oh ok, that's what this is all about, still holding a grudge about that. Well no one told you that the top of the bar was a good place to dance! And for the record have any of you actually told Hetty no before?" Deeks retorted standing with his hands on his hips and starting to move towards the exit of the mission with Sam, Callen and Kensi right behind him.

"Ohhh do tell more, this sounds interesting!" Sam piped up deciding to lay off of Deeks for now anyway and ignoring his question.

"Well lets see, after you left last n-" Deeks started

"If you so much as think of finishing that story, god so help me I will kill you and there is nothing anyone can do about it" The junior agent threatened putting her most menacing face on.

"You wouldn't hurt me Fern"

"You sure about that there tough guy, I haven't seen that look in her eyes for a while" Callen inputted loving the conversation just that little bit too much. "You might want to reign it in a little bit there Deeks" Was Callen's parting shot as split off from the rest of the group and headed to his car. Sam following a few steps later.

Chuckling Sam said goodbye to everyone and proceeded to hop in his car and speed off in the direction of his home.

"Well Fern it's just you and me."

"Hold up, don't count your chickens before they hatch, it's just you left. I'm going home where there is a tub of ice cream and a hot bath with my name written all. Over. It."

"Fine, but you're missing out."

With an exaggerated sigh Kensi turned on her heel and opened her car door, "I'll see you tomorrow shaggy" and drove away.

 **Let me know what you think, should I continue?**


End file.
